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CAILculator is a Model Context Protocol (MCP) server that provides AI agents with access to "Applied Pathological Mathematics™", leveraging higher-dimensional Cayley-Dickson algebras (up to 256D) and Clifford algebras. It enables computation and analysis of structures like zero divisor patterns and non-associativity, which are traditionally deemed "pathological" but are reinterpreted here for computational advantage in AGI research. The server offers tools for transforming data into high-dimensional spaces, detecting intricate patterns, performing direct algebraic calculations, and generating visualizations, alongside specialized financial analysis features designed for detecting structural shifts and market regimes.